Success Secrets

SUCCESS SECRETS: WRITE IT DOWN

The third of the four little success secrets or success tips I casually mentioned in the Keep Moving Forward video post is: Write It Down.

As you saw in the video, there were pages of hand written notes capturing ideas I began developing for Paula Abdul and for a new business friend of mine, Greg Neel.  This may not seem all that important to you, but it is vital.

When you have an idea, write it down!

You might think you’ll remember it later, but odds are you won’t.  Trust me on this.  I’m literally a walking, talking, burping idea machine. I’ve been one for most of my life. Seriously, if I drink too much of my favorite Italian sparkling beverage, suddenly I find myself having to burp, and as I do, I will have yet another idea.

Now don’t make the mistake that plagued me.  When I was younger I thought my ideas were so great or so obvious that I couldn’t possibly forget them.  So, I’d confidently go about my day without having written anything down.  The next day I’d set aside some time to further develop the ideas I’d had the day before, but when I tried to remember the details, I couldn’t recall very much.

This wasn’t a case of needing to improve my memory.  I simply have too many ideas every day to keep track of them all in my head.

Hopefully, you don’t mistake this as bragging. This is my way of telling you I have lost many a wonderful and possibly profitable idea simply because I was too preoccupied to write it down.

When you write it down, don’t try typing it into a document on your computer or your cell phone. Write it down on paper. Carry it around with you so you have the option to pull it out later and tinker with it or add more thoughts as you go.

You might be resisting this. You love your iPhone or your laptop and think you’ll be able to access it easier later on.  I disagree. I’ve seen far too many people take notes at seminars or in classes and relegate their notes, thoughts and ideas to their digital document where it gets forgotten in some file folder never to be referenced again.

The best students and the smartest people I’ve ever worked with, trained with or learned from all shared the common success secrets habit of write it down. In fact, my good friend and mentor, Kevin Hogan, is known for urging people at his seminars to write it down.

I don’t know specifically why this is so, but I suspect the people who write it down are engaging more of their learning modalities when they write it down. They hear it.  They have to think about it as they write it down. Many of them repeat it to themselves in a whisper or mutter it to themselves as they write it down. Yes, you have to do some of this as you type, but there’s something else that kicks in when you have to hold your pen or pencil and move more of your body.

Here’s another advantage of the success secrets habit of write it down. It takes the burden off your mind so you don’t waste unnecessary energy and focus trying to remember something. It’s so much easier to write it down. You’ll be less distracted with thoughts of “What was that idea I had earlier?” and in turn this will give you more energy and focus for the things that need your attention throughout the day.

Do yourself a favor and write it down.  You can start right now. The very next idea you have or thing you know you need to get done tomorrow, take two minutes and write it down.  It’s one of the simplest, easiest, low-tech success secrets you can implement, but it makes such a huge difference.

Michael

The palest ink is stronger than the sharpest memory.

~ Chinese proverb

The Success Secrets: Lesson from HBO Hard Knocks Training Camp with the New York Jets

The Success Secrets can often be found in plain sight right in front of you if you keep your eyes & your mind open to lessons from sometimes unlikely sources.  Such is the case with one of the few cable TV shows I currently tape & watch every week:  HBO Hard Knocks Training Camp with the New York Jets.

This behind the scenes look at what happens when an NFL team goes through it’s process to get ready for the start of the pro football season has always been a fascinating and enriching experience for me since it’s debut in 2001.  Even if you don’t like football, there are incredible life lessons & success secrets to be found in nearly every episode of this sports Emmy winning show.  This year’s edition of HBO Hard Knocks Training Camp with the New York Jets is no exception.

In the very first episode about 3 weeks ago, head coach Rex Ryan addressed the New York Jets players, which includes four great players they signed away from other teams: LaDainian Tomlinson, Jason Taylor,  Antonio Cromartie and Santonio Holmes, plus their young star quarterback Mark Sanchez.  He spoke frankly about his expectations for the New York Jets this season and how he didn’t want to hear any nonsense about how the Jets were under the radar last year so that would be a good place to be again this year.

Note:  The New York Jets surprised the other teams in the NFL because it was Rex Ryan’s 1st year as the head coach, it was quarterback Mark Sanchez’s rookie season, and no one really expected them to come within one game of reaching the Super Bowl).

Rather than hoping to fly under the radar again, Rex Ryan set his expectations for the New York Jets at the very top.  In doing so, he also revealed one of the Success Secrets that is a vital lesson from the HBO Hard Knocks Training Camp with the New York Jets.  Here’s what Rex Ryan said to his players & staff (I’ve edited out some of the more colorful words he added to get their attention)

“We have ONE GOAL as an organization.  One goal.  And that’s to WIN the Super Bowl.  That’s it!

How do we get it done?  I want to lead the league in wins.  So, who’s it on?  Whose shoulders does it fall on?  Ours!

We affect how this thing turns out.  People say last year, hey we were under the radar, that’s a good place to be.  F – - k that!

The best place to be is when expectations are high.

Get used to it!

It’s always going to be that way.

And now let’s go out & prove everybody right.”

So, there’s the success secrets lesson sitting right there in plain sight.

Set your expectations high.

With the one goal of winning the Super Bowl, do you suppose the New York Jets players have a much different mind-set or mental attitude than if their goal was to just make the NFL playoffs or just win a playoff game or just make it to the Super Bowl?

Switch it to something close to your heart in your own life.

Do you want to be a good teacher or be a knowledgeable authority in your field?  Or do you want to be the best in your field?

I’ve had people argue with me that they believe this is simply a matter of semantics but I strongly disagree.

I’ve seen far too many examples in every possible category you can think of to know better.

“The best place to be is when expectations are high.  Get used to it!  It’s always going to be that way.  And now let’s go out & prove everybody right.”

Rex Ryan, Head Coach of New York Jets,  quoted from episode 1 of HBO Hard Knocks Training Camp with the New York Jets

The Success Secrets: Stop Worrying About What Others Think!

Guest blog post by Morty Lefkoe

Today’s Success Secrets blog post is our first ever guest post.  I started corresponding with Morty Lefkoe after I read a terrific post on his blog recently.

His post was all about how our language determines our reality, a topic of deep interest to me that we’ll cover in the future.  After a few emails back & forth, Morty has kindly agreed to do me a big favor & share his thoughts on a key element of the Success Secrets: Stop Worrying About What Others Think.

I hope you like this as much as I do.  And now, our guest blogger, Morty Lefkoe!

Stop worrying about what others think

Do you often walk away from people thinking, “Did I say the right thing?  “Did I offend someone?” “Should I have said or asked…?”

Do you frequently hear that “little voice” in your head saying: “What will they think?”

Do you often feel you need to be a certain way and you can’t just be yourself?

Most people are concerned about what others think about them and many say and do things just to get the approval of others.  These thoughts and behaviors seem to be so much a part of who we are and are so common in others that we assume that they are just part of being human.

In fact, however, you can eradicate these thoughts and behaviors forever. 

How?  By eliminating the beliefs that cause them.  Although this problem can be caused by different beliefs in different people, there is one specific belief that anyone with this problem almost certainly has: “What makes me good enough or important is having people think well of me.”

Today, I’m going to tell you how this belief is formed, why so many people have it (maybe even you) and how getting rid of this belief will transform your life.

Early in life many of us form negative beliefs about ourselves like “I’m not good enough.”  (Almost every one of the 13,000 clients we’ve had from over 50 countries around the world has had this belief.) Because most parents expect children to do things that are unrealistic for their age (such as be neat and quiet and come when called at the age of three or four), and because most parents get frustrated, annoyed or angry when their children don’t do what they’re told, most children conclude “there must be something wrong with me” if mom and dad are upset with me so often, or “I’m not good enough.”

Because our beliefs about ourselves are usually formed during the first six years of life, most of us already have this belief when we leave our homes and go out into the world of teachers, other kids, school, etc.  Obviously a belief like this would make us think as we start school: “How will I get people to like me and how will I make it in the world if I’m not good enough?”

And those thoughts, in turn, would lead to us feeling “not okay” about ourselves and anxious to some extent.

And then one day a solution appears.  We do something that our parents (or perhaps a teacher or coach) like and they give us a very positive response.  How does that make us feel?  Happy and very good about ourselves.

The first few times that happens we feel good but don’t make anything of it.  And then after this progression of events occurs a few times we conclude: If I didn’t feel good about myself, and then after getting praise and/or positive attention I do feel good about myself, what that means is: “What makes me good enough or important is having people think well of me.”

This is a very special type of belief.  It is a belief that tells us what needs to happen in order to experience being okay.  And when it doesn’t happen we don’t feel very good about ourselves.

Well, if we don’t experience being good enough the way we are and we need something outside ourselves to become good enough, how often would we want that outside something to occur?  All the time!  Anytime anyone doesn’t like us, rejects us, or thinks poorly of us, we have lost our “survival strategy,” our method for making us feel good about ourselves.  At that point the underlying belief: “I’m not good enough,” is uncovered and stares us in the face, leaving us feeling not good enough and producing some level of anxiety.

As a result, the need to have others think well of us is experienced like a drug addiction by many people.  When they achieve it they feel good for the moment, but it’s only a matter of time before they need another “fix.” At that point they become obsessed about getting it.

There are other “survival strategy” beliefs, such as What makes me good enough is doing things perfectly; what makes me good enough is being successful/wealthy (can you see now why some people are obsessed with this?); and what makes me good enough is taking care of others.  And it’s possible to have more than one.  But based on our experience in our private practice, “having people think well of me” is the most common.

It now should be clear why so many people are obsessed about what others think about them: Most people have the belief “I’m not good enough” (or some variation of it) and “having people think well of me” is the remedy most of us have found to cover up the anxiety that stems from having that belief.

If the obsession about having people think well of us is a direct result of having several beliefs, the way to get rid of the obsession is to get rid of these beliefs.

You can eliminate “I’m not good enough” using our free interactive web program atRecreate Your Life You also can buy a program there that will enable you to eliminate “What makes me good enough is having people think well of me,” as well as a number of other crippling beliefs.

Thanks for reading this post. Comments and questions are welcomed.

I post weekly at http://mortylefkoe.com

Morty Lefkoe

“As for worrying about what other people might think – forget it. They aren’t concerned about you. They’re too busy worrying about what you and other people think of them.”   — Michael LeBouef

Success Secrets: Thank You Notes and Thank You Cards

Here’s the second of the four little success tips or success secrets that were in plain sight in the Keep Moving Forward video that got casually mentioned by me:

With the explosive growth of email, cell phone texting, Facebook & Twitter along with countless other Social Media sites, it is easier than ever to connect with & stay in touch with people around the globe.  But at the same time, I’ve noticed that handwritten letters and thank you cards seem to be going the way of the dinosaur with most people.

 But I’m going to encourage you to add this success secrets tip to your repertoire for two simple reasons:

 1.  Receiving handwritten thank you cards are memorable for the very fact of how few people still use this form of gratitude with others.

 As more and more people interact online through the myriad channels of electronic communication, we’re already seeing an entire new generation of people coming of age who have never seen thank you cards let alone learned how to write a thank you note.  Using thank you cards stands out in today’s crowded world and will continue to stand out in the future as the older generation that used thank you cards is replaced in the work force by the newer generation who think a simple email thank you will do instead of taking time to learn how to write a thank you note.

 People recognize that you took the time and trouble to pick out the thank you card, write the personal thank you note and mail it.   Receiving an email thank you cardor email thank you note pales in comparison because more often than not, an email thank you card or email thank you note is probably automated or programmed with a hot key.  If there’s not a personal note within the email, you can bet it was not even handled by the person whose email address you received it from.

2.   Handwritten thank you notes and handwritten thank you cards are more likely to be kept and appreciated.

How hard is it to delete an email thank you note or email thank you card? 

How likely is it that you will keep it?

Email thank you cards often are just temporary flash technology messages that expire quickly after a week or two.   They often pass in and out of your life in the blink of an eye.

But handwritten thank you notes or handwritten thank you cards stand a much better chance of being retained & staying in someone’s mind for much longer.

 Let me give you an example.

 You receive an email thank you note from someone you worked with on a special project.

 On the other hand, you receive a beautiful thank you card with rich, vibrant colors that catch your eye and when you open it up, you read a heartfelt handwritten thank you note from a person you worked with on that same special project.

 Which thank you card gets a prominent place on your desk or in your office or even on your wall?

 Need I say more?

If you look around in my office you will find 2 incredibly cool thank you cards I received from Prince, the amazing musician.   You’ll also find other examples of thank you cards that really captured my attention and have places of prominence in my office.

 So, next time you want to stand out in someone’s mind, remember the success secrets tip of send thank you notes and send thank you cards. 

 When I send thank you cards and thank you notes, more often than not I get a direct phone call from the recipient and we have another conversation which further strengthens or deepens the relationship.   They also often tell me that my note or card stood out because they couldn’t remember the last time someone had sent them one!

 As obvious and simple as this success secrets tip is, it’s still a powerful and memorable way to interact with others in this fast paced world we live in.

 You can use thank you cards or thank you notes to follow up after job interviews, sales presentations, meeting someone at an event, after completing a sale, completing a project, or any number of other occasions where you want to stand out with your communication and show gratitude for the courtesy or opportunity someone else has offered you.

 I’ve just scratched the surface on the number of ways you can use this success secrets tip.  What ways can you think of to use thank you cards or thank you notes in your interactions?

Try using this from now on and see if it doesn’t start to make a perceptible difference for you and how you communicate with people.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas in the comments section below.

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

~ William Ward

The Success Secrets: Power of the Egg Timer

First I’d like to thank everyone for the feedback on my first video for The Success Secrets.

 I definitely learned a few lessons the hard way (make it shorter so it loads faster, keep it more focused) but it feels good to have finally done one and have some experience under my belt for next time.

Some of the feedback mentioned how great my little success secrets tip was on the power of the egg timer.

It never occured to me as I was filming the video that I would capture things I do on a daily basis that other people would find so helpful.  But this wound up being a happy accident because it sums up my philosophy of The Success Secrets perfectly:

A simple little success habit or method of doing something seems super obvious to one person who gets great results using it all the time.  But the same success habit feels like a big success secret to someone else who’s never seen anyone using that method or success habit.

Just having our mind exposed to a few little success habits or success secrets here & there can make a huge difference in the long run.

So, I thought I would use this post to cover the first of the four little success tips or success secrets that were in plain sight in the video that only causally got mentioned by me.  Here we go:

The Success Secrets: Power of the Egg Timer

I don’t actually remember where I learned the power of the egg timer success secret but it’s really very simple:

If you have a project you need to really make progress on & don’t have someone else to help hold you accountable for the result, the power of the egg timer lies in using it as a self imposed deadline.

Set the timer for anywhere from 5 minutes to 60 minutes.

Once you’ve set the timer, get into action immediately and see how much you can get done before the timer goes off.

If you’re working on something that requires more than 60 minutes, you can still break it up into chunks of time.

Here’s how I use this success secret for my writing projects.

Set timer for 48 minutes and then see how much writing I can get done knowing the clock is ticking.

 When the timer goes off, I set it for 12 minutes and then I take the following action:

1. Get up out of the chair, walk around and stretch.

2.  Grab a fresh bottle of water if you’re on empty, or if not, take a few sips of water.

3.  Maybe grab a small snack.  Munch on some almonds or a protein bar.

DANGER:  

A few things you should NOT do because they will sabotage this success secret:

1. Do NOT turn on the TV.

2. Do NOT look at your email

3. Do NOT make or take any phone calls

I’m sharing these things to avoid with you because I’ve learned the hard way from experience that getting involved with anything else during your mini break will distract you from the project you are working on and before you know it, you’re off doing something else that’s grabbed your attention and you’ve completely forgotten what you set out to accomplish.

So, avoid the distractions on your mini break.  Stretch, walk around, grab some more water or a quick snack & then when your 12 minute break is over, quickly set the timer to 48 minutes again and jump right back into the writing.

Use this success secret for any project you might have that can be broken down into short intense segments of time.

I’ve used it for cleaning a room, sorting paperwork, and all sorts of other projects.

Try this out for yourself and let me know what results you produced with it.

I think you’ll be really glad you did.